Christine Kelly Reads and Writes

I wanted to write this blog post because it’s been a concept I’ve been grappling with for a long, long while. While I could go on a long diatribe about Capitalism and why we are shaped to act and be how we are, I want to avoid getting too far down that rabbit hole.

Instead I want to help us all rid ourselves of guilt and grant us permission to not *always* focus on productivity. Shifting the framework of what I view to be productive has helped my stress level. Guilt speaks to us, but it an also consume us, leading a person to feed the guilt monster when they should starve it. IE: I feel guilty for taking a nap, even though I stayed up late to work.

This comes on the heels of reading a great article by Anne T Donahue, and paying attention to multiple people (agents, authors, and non-writing folk) expressing their burnout and subsequent boundary setting that is helping them live a more sustainable life (read: a better work/life balance). Will it ever be perfect? No. But can we make it better? Yes.

For me, in the last couple of months, I went from having full time childcare for both children and a “slow” work era (my full time job is seasonal). Now, I’m going into the busiest time of year for my job, I have little childcare (honestly it’s shaping up to look like I’ll only have a few hours during the week), and just a few things going on (insert swirly eyed face here).

Because professionally I am so busy, I have become acutely aware of how my time is spent, causing me to come to this conclusion: If it isn’t producing something or working towards a goal, it isn’t worth doing or a priority.

Let me just say this now: that is the wrong mindset. I know people say they don’t want the excuse not to work because then they worry they will become “lazy” and less productive. But have we ever reframed it that instead, if we take a break from work, doing nothing productive towards our careers or goals, that maybe it’s a form of “self-care” and…gasp…it actually is productive?

Additionally, we’re all just doing our best, and some days are better than others. So when we go through a time when we have little motivation and need a break, the whole “bed rot” phenomenon can be just as useful as focusing on something else that gives you joy (regardless if you are productive or not).

While I’m on my soap box, I want to remind everyone that productivity can look very different. I know we’ve seen social media posts about walking while hashing out plot holes is indeed working, despite not seeing your word count grow. But beyond that, productivity can look like scrolling social media with intention to see how authors are promoting their book and what’s working. Productivity can also look like learning a new hobby that you’ve been interested in because it fill our cup or adds a spoon back to our set. But also, that can be a way that you can step away, not thinking about anything except daydreams or reading something for fun with not other motive other than you’re doing for your own joy. Because at the end of the day, that too is productive. And when you approach your computer next, perhaps the words will come more easily, or you won’t disdain the clickety-clack of the keys.

I also want to preface that guilt about lack of productivity goes hand in hand with fear about losing everything you’ve worked towards (is this just a me thing?). While not working on something specific, I am afraid I’ll lose all I’ve learned. I guess I don’t have the answer to guarantee that’s the case. But I will say I think it’s a valid fear, but we need to grant ourselves grace. We can only do so much, and we need to be sure to take care ourselves.

TL:DR– Let go of the need to produce for just a little bit. Note how you feel. Guilty? Is that guilt serving you and telling you something, or is it the caplist devil