Christine Kelly Reads and Writes

There are many different places where there are critiques of queries and how to improve upon them. But I wanted to take the time to gather queries that worked for me as an agent, or for someone else. I hesitate to call this a “series”, but in these posts, I will explain what the query does well, what I look for in a query (as do most other agents), and what to be sure to do in your own. Many times, the best way to learn is to emulate what you’ve seen done before. So instead of asking for queries to critique, I’ve asked my agented friends, my own authors, and will use my own samples, on how to create a query that works.

First, I think it’s important that we point out what each query needs. Not all of my posts will spell this out, so save this if you need!

The format: Hook, Book, Cook. I won’t get into it here, since I already have a blog post on it. Check it out here!

Now for the query. This is from a friend, and this query got them an agent. My hope is that by seeing this you can get an idea of what works and what doesn’t in a query.

Dear Agent, 

PERSONALIZATION.  I’m excited to send you DIGGING DR. JONES (86K words) an adult contemporary romance. It will appeal to readers who enjoy the witty narrative of Livy Hart novels and themes reminiscent of Something Wilder by Christina Lauren, or who have a deep love for movies Romancing the Stone or The Lost City.

Adriana Jones hasn’t even opened her store, and she’s already on the verge of bankruptcy. But an unfortunate (or perhaps fortunate) mix-up with the package delivery of an antique bracelet binds her to a stranger—the archaeologist Dr. Andrew Jones—who is superman hot (just in case you were wondering). Unable to unlatch the jewelry from her wrist, Andrew needs Adriana to travel with him to Colombia to locate a priceless artifact before a Russian oligarch’s men reach it first. Um, no thank you. 

When Andrew offers to pay Adriana enough money to save her business, she has no choice but to agree to a two-day trip to open a cryptic chest in a museum. How bad could it be? Well, you guessed it. The promised quick trip turns into a fortnight journey, trudging through jungles, crawling over skeletons under an old church floor, and sleeping under the stars. 

Adriana is dead set against love, but she finds herself irresistibly drawn to gallant Andrew, with his kind heart, winning smile, and different colored eyes. Hot days turn into even hotter nights, and the more time she spends with Andrew, the more painful it is remembering that after their trip is over, he goes back to London, and she goes back to Atlanta. Who was she kidding? Andrew is a blue-blooded aristocrat, and she is…well, she didn’t even finish college. Adriana believes it wouldn’t have worked out between them, anyway. And maybe, she is wrong.

I have a degree in Software Engineering, and I live with my family and cats named Hairy and Bess Houdini in Atlanta, GA. I’m a member and a volunteer of the Atlanta Writers Club, a member of GRW, and I actively participate in critique groups. 

Thank you in advance for your kind consideration.