Christine Kelly Reads and Writes

I personally love that there is a term for those who are enduring their next step in the publishing journey: Sub Club. Because like Fight Club, it seems like the rule is to not talk about Sub Club. Unless you have close friends that are going through it, publicly lamenting about sub, mentioning who you’re out with, and all the things are no nos.

And there are reasons for that. Obviously, sharing who you’re out on submission with could cause problems, so this post is NOT about that. It’s also not anything to do with negatively focusing on editors. Because editors, I see you. You are over worked. Reading takes time and that isn’t something you have much of. You’re doing your best and under paid, and under appreciated. Editor, you’re doing great, boo!

OK, now with all the caveats out of the way, I do want to talk about how hard submission is. And I think mostly it comes down to the fact that it is out of our control. And beyond that, as the days tick by, you come closer and closer to getting an answer (or an open gateway) to see the success of your publishing dreams (and to FINALLY GET PAID!).

Because it’s out of our control, and because we don’t know when the no’s are coming, and even less when a yes will come, we’re constantly standing on the edge of a cliff, staring down at the waves crashing wondering if and when we’ll fall. And surely, we’ll survive. But it will be hard. We may need a recovery period, which makes it all the daunting that we do this for weeks…months…on end.

So how do you survive? How do you look down and say, “I will survive. I can handle this.”

I dunno. Truly, I don’t think there is a one answer that fits all. But I will share what works for me.

I am a anxious person. I know this about myself, so I have approached with the acknowledgement that I need to be very privy to how my anxiety is manifesting. Sometimes it is lashing out at my kids (sorry, bubs, I love you both!), and sometimes it’s scrolling instagram or twitter for way, way too long. But, especially as of late, I can recognize the tell tale signs I’m anxious and the reason why.

Friday’s are hard. Usually it’s the end of the week and I know that the news I did or did not get what is for the week. And usually Mondays I go in saying, “this is the week!”. So when it doesn’t happen, my heart beats fast and my breathing becomes shallow. And I tell myself, it’s because it’s out of your control, so focus on what you can control. I remind myself I can control how I react to people in my life and that it’s not their fault I’m feeling this way. I can force myself to step away from my phone. And I then also ask myself, what is it you need? One time, I needed to read just something that was dark, spicy, and totally mindless. One time I needed to cry, so I resorted to hunting down a book I knew would make me do that and reading that specific scene (perks of a re-read).

The one major thing I’ve done that is in my control, and what I’ve also recommended to my authors as an agent is focusing on the next project. This isn’t to say that every day you’ll be diving into the pages and vibing with the story you’re working on. Somedays are hard, especially when I hit the marks that I usually slow and ESPECIALLY when it’s Friday. But knowing that I am starting to shape something that will come next provides that spark of hope to keep me going.

But, with all that said, the main thing you can do to yourself is protect yourself, your creative well and your mental health. I’ve started walking, running, or working out to keep those endorphins, and I’m still in the process of finding the right dosage/medication to help my anxiety. These are larger things that I’m doing for myself that I hope will trickle down to help make this time in my life a bit more tolerable… especially since I’ll likely be facing sub again someday in the future.

Lastly, one thing that also helps is having writing friends– especially those who are supportive and fill your cup. Focus your attention on those friendships and help them blossom when you want to wither away. Having those people can make this process a little bit less lonely. Don’t be afraid to rely on them.

There is also a great website that has sub stories from other authors. For me, it’s nice to read about other’s experiences so I know what to expect. Or perhaps what to hope for (or not!). Check it out here!