Christine Kelly Reads and Writes

I’m sure a few people have feelings about Ali Hazelwood. I have seen comments on Twitter and GoodReads. But I’m going to say right now, I’m part of the Ali Hazelwood fan club. I love her voice-y writing. I like big hands. And she does stakes so well.

Case in point– her new YA, CHECK & MATE. As an agent I’m looking for high stakes and immediate action to lure me in, so I wanted to take you through the beginning chapters to explain what I like and why. I also wanted to state that most of this reflection is coming from my stance reading the book to chapter five and about 50(ish) pages in.

First sentence: As a writer, there is a bit of an annoyance with the need to have so many boxes checked to make the opening of a story catchy. But, sadly, as a reader, this book provides an excellent example as to why. The opening sentence does a great job of catching my attention, holding my curiosity, until I get an answer and have more interest in what comes next.

Stakes: The stakes are set high both internally and externally.

• Internal Stakes: She feels guilty which drives her to be sure her little sisters are living a better life than they are set to have right now– the same type of good life she had when she was their age (12)
• External Stakes: Her mom is sick, her dad is out of the pictures and they are in financial stress. To make matters worse, and up the stakes within the first 50 pages (ish), she is fired from the job that is helping her support (as best she can) her two sisters and mother.

Curiosity Seeds: The first curiosity seed is a general knowledge that she has financial issues. Then we learn that something happened with her father. And then we find out something is wrong iwth her mother, and we get answers to what is wrong with her mother and why that affects their families financial status. While planting new curiosity seeds that it was something that she (thinks) she did at the age of fourteen and we think it has something to do with her dad. By chapter five, we are waiting for more information on her dad and what happened. So we’re curious to keep turning pages, while also satiated because we did get answers to a few other things as well.

There is also curiosity around what happened with chess (some what aligned with her father) and that involves what will become the LI.

The key here is to keep planting seeds, or to keep us curious on the Big Seed, while watering a few to become flowers we can see (like what I did there?). We need answers instead of continuing to be confused. It’s a delicate dance that Hazelwood does very well in these opening chapters and something that has me turning pages.

LI introduction: Now here is where it gets hard. Technically the LI is introduced in the prologue. And in the writing world (thanks to TSNOTYAW), I’m immediately like…PROGLOGUE?!

Backstory: She weaves in backstory so seamlessly and through voice-y anecdotes. You never feel bogged down with details. You’re entertained with how and when you learn about the MC. A lot of it comes through with dialogue between her sisters and best friend. With action and interiority over her grief and what she isn’t giving to the reader quite yet.

Clear indication of what she wants: In the beginning, what she wants is to (external) financially support her family. Internally, she wants to make something right. This sets forth her character arc and propels her to make choices for the “and then” sequence of events. (IE She loses her job, so then…). Julie Artz has a great instagram carousel that helps explain this. It’s the Toy Story/Pixar story telling method.

Overall, I felt like this book provides a great example of what I am looking for in opening pages. I wanted to share to hopefully have you all understand why I say I’m not connecting with the first pages.